Massive Open Online Parenting (M.O.O.P.s)

For hundreds of years, parents have struggled to find time to enjoy life, spend time with their spouses, and complete the work intended for their talents by Destiny. But finally, with M.O.O.P's (Massive Open Online Parenting), children can get the information they need from one M.P. (Master Parent) while the remaining biological parents can reserve their time for more useful activities. The M.P. will be a parent trained by the best scholars and scientists in education and psychology (Harvard, MIT, Stanford, and other schools topping US News and World Reports' rankings) who will "info-nurture" even the youngest children using special SS (Stimulator Suits) and TP (Touch Pads).

To ward off the unfortunate side effects of disorientation and depression (an anachronistic set of emotions traceable to the early stages of human development), a MT (Master Therapist) will design a specificically engineered DC (Drug Cocktail) which can be administered by the SS to the anxious child. Funding is expected from a joint collaboration between Google, Microsoft, the Department of Defense, and the Department of Education. Additional support expected from all 50 states Chambers of Commerce.

Security by Blackwater.

And P.S. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia02fGpUQfU


Jason Hills said...

I was able to quietly read until I read " security provided by Blackwater," and then I couldn't contain the laughter.

the remote one said...

Excellent project, I'm sure there would be more than a few drug companies who would provide funding and promotional support. And don't forget that parents would need drugs to help them feel loved by their estranged children.